Twisters

Oh hai, esok saya balik Makassar. By the way, I hate prosperity burger.

He's an editor, I'm a predator

We all know my infamous stepsister Lady Gaga haha okay we're not related. She is known for her catchy songs and bizarre wardrobe selection. During the 52nd Grammy Awards, she arrived in that planet/solar system inspired dress, said to be from Armani. I don't know, it looks like a dress made of a tudung saji my mum has at the kitchen. Tsk.

Lady Gaga later made a performance with Elton John wearing a...I can picture that if strippers were to be sent outer space to entertain lonely astronauts, thats most prolly what they'll wear (-__-")

She won an award for Best Dance Recording and Best Electronic/Dance Album. So she must've done something right. To get the awards, Lady Gaga finally wore the lightning outfit. Sort of like a grand finale for Gaga's Grammys fashion episode. To browse for other winners, you can go to the Grammys website.

In a nutshell, I think that yeah, Lady Gaga is definitely from outer space.

This is a video made by Venetian Princess or at least thats the name of her YouTube channel. Click here to check out her channel.

Aside from that, Single Ladies won for Song of The Year, Taylor Swift grabbed four awards including for Album of The Year. Uh oh, Venetian Princess also made a video for Taylor. So to her fans, yes you Vye , this video down here is for you. :D

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I am one of those person who logs on to Facebook but never bothers to approve those requests or whatever. Group invitation, events? I just don't really care. However, tonight its a different story. I suddenly felt the urge to check the invites. Its not that I have nothing better to do...its just that this...

...was getting a lot of attention in Facebook. Fasha's manager told her about it and she came out with a statement in Berita Harian (I read it masa lepak rumah Opah hehe) saying "Saya gembira orang masih ambil berat tentang saya...bla bla bla" ala you know the usuals, takkan dia nak meroyan in public.

So anyways, I was wondering if anyone had invited me to join this group, not that I'm a hater or anything. So I randomly checked the groups people invite me to.

I found the exact, custom-made group for me if I might say so myself. In fact, I should be the president of this group haha why did it never occur to me to create this group? Kalau tidak boleh letak footnote dalam resume 'Selain mempunyai kebolehan menggulung lidah, saya juga founder untuk group "Kelab Benci Lipas" di Facebook.'

Cockroaches Haters Club/Kelab Benci Lipas

Here are some snippets.

Tengku Shahrul nak kt bnci tu x la sngt.. tp ape yg x bleh aku trima.. lipas dlm karton Oggy & The Cockroaches.. bngang btul dgn lipas 3 ekor tu..mengada2.. senang2 je buli kucing (Oggy & Jack) dah la penumpang rmh.. baut kacau plak... ksian Oggy dgn Jack..huhuhuhu

Emo pasal cartoon pun ada...?

Muhamad Hafizuddin Ariffin Benci apabila mereka menerpa ke arah saya masa sedang memandu.boleh eksiden woo

Spot on!

Deela Kay Nordin ~saya benci lipas setelah dia masuk kedlm seluar saya & lalu tanpa menghiraukan keadaan sekeliling saya terus membuka seluar... huahuahua lipas bodow (x_X)

Seriously, I totally understand the situation. (-__-")

Ah, a lot of hateful, terrifying stories that I can relate to. I knew it, I knew I was normal. Tiong Jin, click join click join!

Ainul Sarina AJ

Alaaa, its uber late to announce this...but my sister's drawing was published in The Star newspaper today! OMGGG! :D Go get your copies! Cepat, saya rasa still ada dekat 7 Eleven terdekat anda. haha I'm overly excited as if its my drawing pulak. Ada my nameeee! Okaylah AJ is not my name but technically it kinda is OK? OK.

Aloh aloh aloohh my sister likes the drum and guitar. hehe. Actually my sister is in her school band pancaragam thingy. She plays the drum. Cool kannn? Thats the story of my sister. The story of Joshua pulak, dia suka drum tapi tak suke triangle. Kalau Maaithini suka main flute untuk rileks tapi benci cymbal. Cymbal apekejadah pulak cymbal?!

Kejap nak google.

*googling*

Oh, bendalah ni rupanya. Sekali sebut cymbal teringat lesung batu. Entah kenapa.

Aaaaaanyways, inilah lukisan yang masuk The Star. "4 band at schools, 4 nasyid, 4 rock" Perghhh gambar drum set rock habis, siap ada violin yang disisihkan tiba tiba dekat bawah. Pastu amboi amboi orang nasyid je dapat mikrofon? haha. Its no Lionardo da Vinci but yeah, cute. I wonder if AJ wants to put this up in a frame. I do I doooo! hehe.

Oh, Hatim, itu bukan frame gambar kat part '4 nasyid' tu, menurut adik saya, itu bendalah besi yang gantung gantung tu. I don't know what its called. Do you? I've googled it for the umpteenth time siap letak keyword specific 'musical instrument with metal bars hanging and produce angelic sound' then keluar gambar pintu pagar. Apakah? Tsk.

Something like this without the xylophone-ish thing on top. If you wanna look at other instruments to find out what they're called, this website is interesting. Barulah saya finally tau ukulele tu apakes. Ok, sekian.

Straight then turn left

I absolutely adore my new glasses. Frankly, its hard for me to find a good pair that suits my round-shaped face without making me look like a granny, a hot-tempered middle aged unmarried kindergarden teacher and a down syndrome kid all at the same time. Yeah my old ones made me look something like that. Percaya jelah tanpa bukti fizikal.

In addition, I think that long dresses could be casual and fun, for the second time. A while back, I had the same idea breezing through my frontal lobe. I bought a long dress, but hated it. Then I snipped it short, turned it to a knee-length dress only to realize that I hate it anyways thus never letting it embrace me in public. haha.

In contrast to my past verdict, long dresses has found its way up my things-I-fancy scale once again. I decided to give it a second chance because everybody deserves a second chance except cockroaches. Maybe its the floral patterns that made my knees jiggle when I found this particular long dress.

Pair it with a cardigan, a simple sling bag, flip flops and you are ready to go. I even looked taller than my real height. Well maybe not in this picture.

Yesterday, I found this vibrant coloured long-dress and immediately fell head over heels for it. Now I am also ready to get pregnant sebab gambar nampak macam maternity wear ad. Dang.

Had a dinner date with Hani and the rest and decided to put this on. I think my glasses made my eyes look bigger. Okay maybe it doesn't look that big.

Macam baju kelawar Mrs.AJ pun ada. Hany cakap macam sugar-glider. Siap suruh saya demo and pose macam titanic depan dia untuk buktikan teori beliau. Fine korang cakap aku any minute akan terbang, fine.

See, I look taller right? As tall as a Victoria's Secret runway model? Yes? No? Maybe? I'm voting maybe.

Match the dress with a simple sandal for a bohemian Nicole Richie-ish look.

Now which shoe should I buy? Kaki sebelah purple dah wincing suruh pilih dia. Tapi miss orange cool and confident. Tough gila nak pilih. Nak sembahyang istikarah dah tak sempat.

This is why I wish people are shoes. I can never discriminate based on colours. I bought them both. There was a 50% cut for both, so why not? Its like I bought a pair and got the second one for free. A really sweet deal.

Ok fine, I'll eat maggie for a week then. Happy now?

During dinner, I hardly stopped talking which made Hany ask around "Siapa lagi banyak cakap eh? Fatin ke Anis?" Fatin is her classmate, I don't know if she has the same horoscope as me, never met her. "Hmm, kalau Anis, dia kelakar, Fatin pulak banyak bercerita je" was the answer I got. hehehe Fatin is definitely not a Libra.

Golden coin in my purse

The person responsible for my sepet genes.

Among all the fortunate homosapiens that managed to squeeze into my category of favourite people (nada takpayah terasa hahahaha), one of them is my Opah. My lovely, cute, ancient but not as ancient as Hang Jebat, gossip girl-ish Opah.

She gossips like Melodi beb. Whatever happens in Follywood (Family Hollywood), she pours onto me like spilling honey generously onto hot fresh pancakes in the morning. “Opah nak bagitahu satu rahsia ni, haritu kakak sedara kamu bla bla bla” “Oh pasal tu, mak dah bagitau Anis dah.” “Terbocor ler dah rahsia ni? heh hehh hehh” with this peculiar laugh that she has. Must be her dentures causing it or something. Love her nonetheless. *grins

Opah has a strong kopi-kapal-api-betul-betul-kaw perak accent when she talks, mumble, burp, every sound from her mouth. Whenever I try to mimic her, she laughs like my friends do whenever I try to speak Indonesian back at Uni. Tsk, fine ah saya cakap mengikut Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka je ah pasni.

So anyways, whenever I come back for my semester breaks, I would make sure that I call her up and inform her that I'm back despite that I know, she already knows. My opah has a reliable stalker; my mum. So when I called her up the other day, she says her usual verbatim “Baru sekarang kamu nak talipon aku ye? Bila kamu nak tido sini?” Setiap kali dengar rasa macam dejavu.

Its like a tradision for me to spend at least one night with her at Manjoi. Just a 2 minutes drive from my house if you're Jeremy Clarkson. If you're an average person, it might take you 8 minutes. If you're Nada, maybe esok baru sampai. Nada moisturizer (pelembab).

Juliana Evans fail ujian undang-undang driving test dua kali. No offence, but wtf fail haha. Nada just told me. Ini perenggan random.

So me and Opah talk perpetually to each other. I just woke up, went to wash my face, came back from the bathroom and shes already there by my bed cracking open another Follywood scandal or some news about Datuk K and SitiNurhaliza or whatever. Like an encyclopedia. Wikipedia. No, Wiki-opah-dia.

I just found out that she was born in 1930. No wonder la Opah suka ungkit scenes from P.Ramlee movies. Opah, orang sekarang talk about How I Met Your Mother jokes, bukan si brand burger tu. Hehe Ramli Burger. But seriously, sedap kot burger tu.

One irking thing about my Opah is that she endlessly talk about DEATH. I thought only budak emo yang melepak di bukit bintang talks about that.

She always talk about how shes going to die alone because people never care about her and its just a matter of time before she chow from this world. Opah even said that on her death bed, she's going to write a note for the person who discovers her body to secretly bury her and not let anybody in the family learn about it. Haih, Opahku sayang.

Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit, apatah lagi merajuk-rajuk orang tua. Susah nak pujuk. Merompak 7 Eleven Taman Meru pon mungkin lagi senang daripada nak pujuk Opah.

Naturally, Opah always encourage me to be a wee bit religious. She hand over some doa-minta-kejayaan to me on a piece of paper that she has and asked me to duplicate a copy of it for my younger sister and all. Yeah, its thoughtful.

The other day, she showed me this book “Jalan Menuju Syurga” that she has. Like indirectly giving me a secret message to ask me to wear the hijab or something. Such an FBI agent lah my Opah. Hidden message pulak. My time will come Opah, I'm not ready yet. I'm still “Menerap Terhegeh-hegeh Menuju Syurga” (-__-”)

Okay, no elaboration, period.

Last Wednesday, after spending the night in Deluxe Rumah-Opah Hotel which comes with one complementary old woman, I was leaving. I can't breathe when I spend too much time apart from my Facebook updates. No, I mean The Star Online updates. *cough.

As I was getting ready to leave she said “Ingatkan nak tidor satu malam lagi dekat sini....ermm..” HOW CAN I NOT? She wants to write a let-me-die-alone note before she dies for god sake. Adoi, Opah aku psycho. Pandai cari G-spot.

So I stayed for another night. Cucu mithali yang mulia, I know.

Last but not least, Opah loves chocolate. Ok, bye.

Opah, you're in my heart. I love you.

Paddington bear

Remember what I wrote about the surreal Apple Tablet?

Its finally official in flesh and blood!

The high-resolution, 9.7 inch LED-backlit, IPS display on iPad is remarkably crisp and vivid. Which makes it perfect for web browsing, watching movies, or showing off photos. It’s also been designed to work in any orientation — portrait or landscape. And because it uses a display technology called IPS (in-plane switching), it has a wide, 178° viewing angle. So you can hold it almost any way you want, and still get a brilliant picture, with excellent color and contrast.

The Multi-Touch screen on the iPad uses the same revolutionary technology that’s in an iPhone. But for iPad, the technology has been completely reengineered for the larger surface, to make it extremely precise and responsive. So when you’re zooming in on a map, flicking through your photos, or deleting an email, iPad responds with incredible accuracy. And it does just what you want it to.

My say, it would be an awesome hantaran kahwin for me, aside from a cute little scottish fold kitten. Read more about it at http://www.apple.com/ipad/

Because I am secretly insane

Spongebob once said; 'Seeing is believing' so click here (http://googlemyway.com/anisizaty+gila) to see it with your own iris, lens, cornea, retina, optic nerve and don't forget to add it up to your Google Chrome or Safari4 or erm, add it as a bookmark to your grandfather's Internet Explorer.

Do you like it? No? You wanna change it to 'anisizaty gorgeous'?

What? That's not the problem? Okay fine, you hate my name, you wanna put your own name up (-__-")

Just go to this website : http://GoogleMyWay.com/

You will find this on your screen with Frank Sinatra's song I Did It My Way humming in the background. Okay, no, that's just my itunes.

Think of something awesome and put it in the space provided. Put in + for space. Like I put in anisizaty+gila in mine.

Click Make it

On your mark, get set, Click Go

VOILA!

Underneath click Go, it even says this in case you're too stupefied to figure out what next.

What's Next

Ok, you got your own Google MyWay page, so what can you do with it. Here are some suggestions

• Call all your colleagues and show them your own Google MyWay page
• Bookmark it and use it every time you search Google
• Make this your default home page so that you can start your day with your own Google MyWay page
• Just stare at it for hours thinking how it is possible
• Or, send your Google MyWay page url to your friends and make them wonder how it is possible.

Apehal yang second last tu menggelabah gila? Rileks ah Google MyWay oi. Anyways I think this version of Google MyWay is the best.

Awh, simply awesome.

Drink me

I find this funny and ironic because a cow is always a female.

But seriously, I want this shirt! hehe.

A little journal post

I'm having a mild fever, jangan tepuk tangan.

I've lived the longest weekend with my favourite people. I left Ipoh for Kandang Lembu last Thursday at 12pm. I was a little late because I had to drop by my mum's office to get her credit card so that I can spend it on every single man-made object I desired. Haha just kidding. If I did, mum might have made a Sup Tulang out of me, made my teeth into earrings and made span cuci pinggan out of my tongue.

The plastic card was for me to get my medical books from that Kamal Bookstore; what I use to fabricate my real intentions for heading to KL in the first place. I wanted to meet my favourite people. I also told my mum that there's a reunion going on, which is very true, sort of. Besides, Faree once told me that 'Freedom is not Free', no?

What's free is the pepper in small sachets that you find at McDonalds' sauce booth. Also the tissue at Starbucks' straw booth which is why Vye would always force me to take a bunch so that she can tapaw them home. She is too cheap to buy tissues. haha busted, tade siapa nak kahwin dengan kau sekarang.

Anyways, being late, I was confident that I would never miss the bus. Hello driver itu orang Melayu.

Not traveling via bus for quite a while, I didn't learn that Transnational is now efficient, be it a Malay driver or a Kadazan one. pffft. I was only late for 15 minutes! Okay maybe 20, and so I had to buy the next ticket albeit doing my best in making a cute face to get a free ticket.

Spent my time waiting for the next bus arguing with Vye on what we could've used the money for instead.

"Duit beli tiket bas tu aku boleh beli doreyaki banyak banyak"

Duit tiket bas tu aku boleh beli half dari satu set quarter chicken dekat Nandos

"Duit tiket bas tu aku boleh beli satu topup Rm10 pastu 3 ketul paddlepop rainbow"

Duit beli tiket bas tu aku boleh pegi pasar malam pastu beli nasi ayam, keropok lekor, air cincau dengan murtabak ayam.

The list goes on. Until..

"Duit beli tiket bas tu aku boleh beli....bla bla bla...dengan satu cendawan goreng"

Ha, cendawan goreng tu apa?

Moving on, I reached KL around half past three and it rained bitterly as I waited for Fnk to fetch me from this place that rhymes with budu. If you can guess where this place is, congratulations, tak sia-sia ibu kau mengandungkan kau.

For the evening, Fnk had to go to UM to support her friend in a basketball match (which they won but that has nothing to do with my life) so I had to make other plans. I wanted to go to Ikea to get whatever I fancy for my new room prior to grabbing dinner.

I went out with Nada and Vye. Nada forced me to drive her Jazz because tangan nada dah patah she miss seeing me drive. Heh. It was a complicated journey from Gombak as Nada didn't want to go to Ikea, but Vye did. Saya badan berkecuali. Vye wanted to buy a lamp as her sister's wedding gift. A lamp wtf? Her logics were that "Kakak aku dah dapat blender tiga bijik so aku nak kasi lamp". Hmm, tatau apa kena mengena blender dengan yang hidup atau yang mati, atau dengan lamp.

Takpelah, Vye kahwin saya kasi dia blender. Along with a big pack of tissue.

Di samping itu Nada pula "Tak remaja ah pergi Ikea". Both Nada and Vye debating on where to go the whole time wheareas the little me "Weh wehh straight ke kanan? Eh kejap *thinks which way is kanan* Ohhh ok ok *belok*" I need time to think which one is kanan, which one is kiri. Sebab tu saya belajar medicine, bukan polis trafik. (-__-")

We ended up trying to go to both. Ikea first because someone has never been there before. Identiti dirahsiakan demi menjaga nama baik keluarga *hemoptysis*. Nada wanted to be quick because it was getting late and she wants to have dinner at OU. The whole time she was HAA LAGI SUPLOH MENET CEPAT AH CEPAT AHH.

In the end, I bought a lamp. So did Vye. Life is full of surprises, I know.

Nada paksa snap gambar screen phone dia sebab Digi ada 3G signal dekat OU. pffffffft. Gila tak remaja gambar wallpaper screen Nada haha.

Ikea is just one of those places I can live in, aside from stationary stores. We left Ikea after just 40 minutes of browsing for things. True story. Went to Chilis OU for dinner. Sent everybody home and crashed at Fnk's house.

Konon so-over-making-cute-faces-so-I-wanna-make-ugly-ones.

Salivary gland inducer Chilis Lamb Shoulder. My favourite. Try it. Rm26.90 a plate without tax.

The next morning, me and Fnk went down to get Chacha since her mother is dropping her off at Fnk's house. As she stepped off the vehicle, we both plunged forward to salam her mum. Chacha went off "Tapayah salam mak aku tapayah salam tapayah" hahaha Chacha anak derhaka. We just salam-ed anyways. Walaupun masa itu belum mandi lagi.

Fnk cooked lunch for us. She managed to not put in anything poisonous.

I haven't seen Chacha since showing up for SPM results. She's studying in Down Under and her semester breaks usually doesn't collide with mine. She used to sit beside me in form 5 and I still remember vaguely how she scolds me all the time for listening to my walkman too loud and and singing along to songs that irritates her.

We shared stories and Chacha laughs to everything just like me. Only with higher magnitudes. My Denise Richard's laugh, combined with Fnk's pontianak laugh and Chacha's loud howl-like laugh, boleh induce tsunami kalau borak tepi pantai. Kesian Mak Fnk migrain sebab bising sangat. Sorry Puan Che Semah.

Later, I met Nada and Myra at Pavilion and we started to talk like a heavy downpour. Vye joined us after her classes and ate sushi with the rest while waiting for Sharifah to reach BB. Took a stroll with them at Uptown and went to Oldtown for coffee and supper. Yeah we eat like skinny Somalians minus the skinny part.

Syarifah sudah ready nak sambut CNY dengan baju merah menyala.

Sent Fnk home. On the way sending Vye to her Plaza Rah, we listened to old songs and sang out loud like a bunch of drunken kids. It was epic. Of course my voice paling sedap kalau masuk AJL, Aizat buat sembahyang hajat pun takkan menang.

Upon reaching there, it was already 3am. As Vye hopped off, I made a hantu pocong hand gesture and bid her the best of luck getting to her 20th storey apartment. Nada emphasized the hand gesture with a hantu-pocong-bertenggek-di-ceiling-elevator pose. Scared the crapped out of Vye who decided to spend the night at Syarifah's house in Bangsar with the rest of us.

We sent Chacha home to Kajang first and shared ghost stories all the way.

Vye and me after we decided that we need to take at least one picture with klcc because life is short.

On saturday, I went to KLCC for a late night Sherlock Holmes with Vye. The movie was awesome. On a random note, I still don't understand why people like Avatar. Blergh.

We went to the car afterwards and realized that Vye forgot to switch off the lights. She couldn't start the car. Three klcc parking security guards helped us push the car for an attempt to start it with the masuk-gear-dua technique but failed miserably. We needed to do the jumper technique.

Jangan hafal plat number kereta ini.

There we were, sweating like Orangutans in the parking lot while waiting for this fella to get his car at his house nearby. They were very kind and helpful. For that reason, Vye decided to kill them by giving a Rm10 duit rokok. Mereka konon menolak manja-manja kucing konon ikhlas. Tetapi dalam hati mungkin memaki caci Vye. Mungkin.

Vye panicked because it was her sister's car. I remained cool and carefree because its Vye's sister's car.

Got on the earliest bus Sunday morning can offer and headed back to Ipoh. The 7.50am bus. Sumpah driver bas bawa laju gila sebab it took only two hours to get home. Tak, saya tak naik Bas Sani, saya naik Plusliner.

KLCC needs to wash their small mirror big round mirrors. Stranded people like me can't get high quality pictures to kill the time with.

My dad and Zarif picked me up and we immediately went to Lenggong to visit my other brother, Afif. Seludup Afif keluar for lunch and terserempak dengan his Ketua Warden and Ustaz. He was lucky they didn't recognized him. Or maybe they were scared of AJ's face? I prefer the latter.

Best gila bila the whole back seat jadi kita punya sarang.

Sent Zarif back to his KYUEM near Tanjung Malim and headed home finally. I felt super-exhausted but really happy. This must be what Santa Claus feels every Boxing Day.

Today? I went to make a pair of new glasses with bonda and helped my sister kill a cockroach. One cockroach down, a few million more to go. Blissful day, very blissful.